Elections

Spending much of my adult life in Washington, D.C., I had the chance to make and keep friends in both political parties.  It used to be easier to navigate the emotions attached to a presidential election cycle. Today, people are polarized, angry and full of hate. This polarization is driving people apart and ruining friendships and even marriages.

Hate is a very strong word that I try to use sparingly, but I will state openly here I hate the way our society is treating each other today.  It is not just one or the other political party that is to blame.  Anyone can fall prey to the spreading of hate and ill will.  I miss the more civilized discourse from years past.

In the past, Members of Congress used to room with each other on the Hill when they were in session.  Perhaps to save money, and certainly so that they could share ideas and thoughts with each other.  Same state delegations might live together so that they could spend off-work time trying to solve issues facing them during the day. However, in recent years, this ciivility has diminished.

Today, I wonder how many cross-aisle housing relationships exist.  Likely not many, because they might be perceived as ‘sleeping with the enemy’.  I believe you need to listen to others and strategize with people who don’t share your same opinions.  To pass anything on Capitol Hill you need some amount of bi-partisan support.  Even with a complete majority such as the Republican Party has today. Bi-partisan support also shows that more than just one side agrees with the decision. It isn't easy to find agreement but it is possible.

When I voted in November, I chose the candidates on all levels whom I thought would best represent my values.  I also chose candidates who would advocate for my state’s benefits.  I do not vote a one party ticket.  I vote for the person who is going to do the best job. Sometimes, I balance the good and the not so good and choose the candidate who will do the best job from those offered.  And when that person doesn’t get elected?  I don’t go on social media and spew venom and use negative statements about the person who did win.  Why bother?  I voted, others voted, and another’s candidate won.

Doing my civic duty, voting in each election, is what matters.  If my candidate lost then they lost.  Like the people who voted for the winning candidate, I had a chance to cast a vote.  What can I do now? My choice is to get back to daily living, and focus on my wellbeing and good mental and physical health. I choose to focus on helping others when possible.

There are times when an election has brought me very low.  I was depressed and listened to all the hate that others were speaking about the winner.  I sometimes allowed myself to think and speak angry and unproductive thoughts. For me, listening to too much of that was not beneficial.  So, after some personal reflection, I changed my attitude.  If the people I hoped to win don’t win, I focus on keeping my mental health and the health of my family a priority.

This is not to say that some issues don’t scare me; believe me, they do.  But, the way our government is structured provides for a system of checks and balances.  I believe that all three branches of government play a vital role in this.  And until proven otherwise, citizens should let the branches do their jobs.  If our system of government ever breaks down then it will be time to take more action. Action including, finding people who recognize things need to change, strategizing how to make the changes, and then working to lawfully adjust the system.

I still have friends in both parties and I plan to keep them for a very long time.  Lately it seems that we might make comments about the outcome of the election but then we move on.  And if the conversation turns too political, and veers towards getting hateful without trying to look for solutions, I try hard to change the subject.  I don’t want to give up my friends, I just want to give up those unproductive, anger filled conversations.