When to Let Go of a Pet
- Fernanda Fisher
- Apr 7
- 4 min read
Today I spent about 45 minutes at the local vet's office, waiting to have a prescription filled for my dog Maisie. Waiting is not my strong suit most of the time, but at a veterinarian's office, I don't have a problem. Sadly, while I was there a family came in to say goodbye to their beloved cat.
I love all kinds of animals, including dogs, cats, guinea pigs, goats and chickens to name just a few. In my time as a mother we have had two guinea pigs, a rental turtle for a summer, at least five cats and now two dogs. All but the dogs and the turtle we had to say goodbye to because they died.
Animals in our care live long, happy, and mostly healthy lives. The aging process is no different in animals than it is in humans. While animals do not live as long as we do, they do grow old, experience illnesses, aches and pains, and eventually pass on. In the pet world, we refer to death as going over the Rainbow Bridge.
Of all the animals we have cared for, only one died of natural causes. All the rest have been humanely put down at the appropriate time. It is the question of the appropriate time that I would like to address today.
It is impossibly hard to know when to let go of a pet. When pets are young, it seems far off, and something that will be easy to determine. As an animal grows older, and spends more time with you, it becomes much more difficult to say goodbye.
This inability to know when to let go is made more difficult when it is your first time. I guess it was about 13 years ago that I had to make my first life-ending decision. It was painful and traumatizing. My first cat Bouche was twenty years old and still seemed to be doing fine. Yet he was experiencing health issues more frequently and I began to wonder if he was in pain.
Dr. Mary Hahn at Northside Veterinary Hospital is the woman who cared for all of the cats we had. She is a true cat lover, owning and showing many cats of her own, and I depended upon her to give me guidance.
Good vets listen to both their patients and the humans who bring them in. I view my vets as my doctors too, and ask many questions to learn more about how to be a better pet parent. In the case of an aging Bouche, I asked Dr. Hahn if it was the time to say goodbye.
Instead of making a decision for me, she gave me a link to an excellent website called Lap of Love, and said to read the section on how to know when it is time. At home, I pulled up the page and read the section she recommended. It gave a straight forward list of questions to help the pet parent make an informed decision.
It was sad but also reassuring to go through the list and know that it was time to let Bouche go over the Rainbow Bridge. I felt relieved knowing that I was not keeping him alive when his quality of life was no longer there.
We chose to have Lap of Love come to the house and perform Bouche's euthanization. We chose this for two primary reasons. First, Bouche hated car rides and would be ill from every orifice each time he rode in the car. Secondly, he had an 18 year old Siamese sister, Amanda, who was his constant companion.
I read that animals adjust to grief better when they are present at the death of their companion. It gives the living animal an opportunity to sense and smell their friend and feel the change in the deceased pet. Not being present at my own mother's death, I could understand the need to be there.
Amanda, who was starting to show signs of senility, sniffed her brother all over and stared for a bit at his body. She then chose to move away from him while our family sat around him crying.
I have consulted the check list before making a decision for each successive cat we have said goodbye to. Sometimes we didn't need a checklist since the pain was more sudden and visible. But for those times when we were in doubt we used the list.
We have also chosen to do almost all the procedures at our home. It is certainly more expensive euthanizing at home, but if you can, your pet will not be stressed out and will pass peacefully in a place that is comforting and safe.
For general information on this topic please check this site out.
For a checklist to help you make a decision please look here.
Lap of Love was also recommended to us and was an excellent resource when making end-of-life decisions for Buckeye. We, too, had them come to our home when it was time to say goodbye (he hated car rides and we wanted his final moments to be in a comfortable space, not where he was still managing his anxiety immediately post-ride). We were fortunate to be able to request a veterinarian who had treated B at our vet clinic. It is such a difficult and individual decision, but one that is so wholly full of love and mercy.